Blog

my fiancée and i finalized our guest list today, were keeping it small-ish (~80 people – 35 of his side and 45 on mine, mostly all family). he sent it to his mom to ask about anyone we’re forgetting, and she insists on inviting more extended family, which is fine, and some of her friends and coworkers, who i’ve never met and my fiancée has not talked to in years. he told her we’re just wanting to invite people we’re close with, and she got upset and said she should be able to invite people to her sons wedding – and implied that i was making the decision (which wasn’t true, but my fiancee can be a pushover when it comes to her so i think it surprised her when he stood his ground). it’s not really about the money, but his parents are contributing, and my parents are contributing similarly, and we’re covering the rest – but she’s the only parent insisting on inviting people we don’t know. maybe this is more common than i realize, so genuinely asking if i am i being a bridezilla for not wanting people i don’t know at a small wedding?

So, one of my close friends is also engaged and is possibly getting married a few months before my fiancé and I intend to. (Very excited for her!)

We're getting together soon for dinner, and I imagine we'll be talking about wedding details. I'm weirdly nervous about sharing any of my thoughts/plans with her because we have similar tastes/interests and I'd be a little sad if she ended up doing anything I had planned for my wedding for hers. Does that make sense? I think it's just because we're close (Because I know other people have done things I'm planning, but I don't know them personally so there's that degree of separation) and because I've gotten this somewhat competitive vibe from her over the years (Which could all be in my head.)

Am I overthinking this? Should I share my plans with my friend?

I (25F) come from two blended families and have four half-sisters—two older (21F and 23F) and two younger (16F and 12F). My relationship with my father, who is the parent of my two younger sisters, has been rocky for several years. My relationship with the younger girls has been very on-and-off, though I am somewhat closer to the 16-year-old than the 12 year old but she’s doesn’t want to attend anyway which is good for me.

For the past five years, whenever I spend time with my father and my younger sisters together, the dynamic tends to revolve entirely around the 16-year-old. She often dominates the situation, and it has made family gatherings stressful for me. My relationship with her mother is also strained, which has contributed to the tension overall.

Last year, we went on a family trip with that side of the family, and it ended in a major argument. My father ultimately sided with my younger sisters, and we didn’t speak for some time afterward. He is not someone who typically apologizes or revisits conflict.

Two months after that trip, my then-boyfriend proposed. Now, about six months later, I’ve started planning wedding-related events. While there was a time when I wasn’t sure I would invite my father or my younger sisters to the wedding at all, I never communicated that to him. I’ve since decided that I do want my father involved and present.

We are planning a small, informal get-together for my fiancé and his family to meet mine. I invited a few cousins and one uncle. Because of past experiences, I felt uncomfortable inviting my younger sisters to this particular event. I’m concerned that the focus would shift away from its purpose, and I want the day to be calm and positive.

I told my father that I would love for him to attend but asked that, for this specific event, he come without his daughters. He has refused and says he will not attend unless they are included.

AITA for setting this boundary for one wedding-related event

Some backstory first; My bestfriend of over 3 years has a wedding coming up in September. We both just had a baby 10 ish months ago, my first but her second. I’ve always wanted my kids close in age and she’s done having kids. Her soon to be husband (second baby daddy as well) is also a severe alcoholic and she had to go back to work because he was drinking away all of the bill money. shes wanted to leave him many times but is afraid of being a single mom again.

she is VERY adamant that she doesn’t want a pregnant bridesmaid at her wedding, which i was fine with, i told her i would wait until after the wedding. Not to mention her sister is also dying to have a baby but is putting that off for the wedding. But i was over a month late on my period, and then i finally got it and told her and we were both excited. She then says to me “now try not to get pregnant for the next nine months!!!” and i responded back with “i’ll try!” (jokingly, because she knew i was going to wait until after the wedding). She responded back with i’ll be so pissed, and out of curiosity i said “im unsure why, i wouldnt complain or miss the wedding because of it” She says back to me “i dont want a pregnant bridesmaid, i want you to drink, you’ll be complaining and i dont want that with all the money my dads spent so far” (she had a $10,000 budget and went over it and said “oh well it’s not my money he’ll have to survive! this was after her paid her car off because it was at risk of REPO and paid off her credit card and student loan that had her bank account frozen, this was also an easy 7 grand) well after that message i said “i literally just said i wasnt going to complain”

A few hours go by and i send her an instagram story and come to find out she blocked me on every single platform, left our life360, removed me from the bridesmaid groupchat, etc.

so i texted her and said “thats crazy of you!” And i asked her for my bridesmaid money back (only $100 so far for the hair and makeup) Then she texts me “don’t worry i’ll get it back to you i know you need it!” acting like im broke (i just spent $5000 to move so yeah money is a little tight). Then i sent her a message and told her she was selfish for throwing away our friendship over a hypothetical pregnancy, and blocked her on messages so she couldn’t message me back.

Then the next day she decides to text one of my other girlfriends super private conversation between us and puts in the message “im sure you’ll continue to be her friend, but that’s a mistake i won’t make again” Mind you the bride also has severe mental health issues and severe bipolar disorder.

TLDR; i was supposed to be a bridesmaid in my bestfriend of almost 4 years wedding, she refused to have a pregnant bridesmaid, i pushed back on that (i wasn’t planning on getting pregnant anyways) and she blocked me completely and made it out to seem like i was the one who did something wrong.

So I'm a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding and the maid of honor just dropped in the group chat that we all need to wear "matching white outfits" for the bachelorette party weekend. Not like white dresses, she wants us in specific white tops, white pants or skirts, and white shoes for the saturday night dinner.

First of all nobody asked if we even own white pants that aren't see through or look good on our different body types. Second she keeps sending pinterest inspo that's all size 2 models in expensive designer white sets that cost like $300. Some of us are on a budget here and already spent money on the dress, shower, and splitting the airbnb. And finding such specific stuff is not easy last minute.

I asked if we could just do our own white outfits and she said no because it needs to "look cohesive in photos" and she'll know if we don't match the vibe. The bride hasn't even said anything about this, it's all the MOH's idea and she's acting like we're ruining her vision.

How do I find white separates that match whatever aesthetic she has in her head without spending a fortune or looking terrible? And is this level of coordination normal for bachelorette parties now or is she as crazy as I feel she is?

My (26F) wedding is in February and my bachelorette is in twelve, yes, TWELVE days. My maid of honor (27F) was awesome in the beginning and the middle… and then she got a new boyfriend. I’m not exactly his biggest fan. They’ve been together 7 months or so, and she’s already had issues with him talkin to other girls. Anyways, first it starts out that about a month ago, she lets him ask me if he can come on my bachelorette cruise. Of course I said no. That’s crazy. He told me I couldn’t stop him. Well, true, but okay. Maybe he’s not crazy enough to do that. Cut to a few days ago, she tells me his mom and his sister are going on the same cruise line but one day after us. Okay…

Cut to today. There’s been “developments.” He’s coming now instead of his sister. Not on a cruise the next day. The. SAME. EXACT. ONE. Mind you, you haven’t been able to change the name on this cruise for about 2 months now. I know this because we had someone that wasn’t able to go anymore for personal reasons, which was fine. So that means either A) he’s known he was going on this cruise for a minimum of 2 months or B) he bought the ticket post-convo.

I did remove her from my bridal party today. She deleted me on everything first. And also, my bridal shower was November 1- we’ve had this date planned for a year now- come October 1st she had nothing done and didn’t plan on saying anything. And that’s not to say I wouldn’t have done it myself. I never expect others to do for me. I offered. She said no. I had other people who wanted to do it for me. She said no. But 4 weeks away from the date, time had “slipped away from her.”

We’ve been friends for about 9/10 years now.

So… AITAH for kicking her out of my bridal party?

ETA: the girls idea was disney world. I thought that was far too expensive for a bachelorette. I suggested a cruise and they loved it because $300 for an all inclusive weekend trip? It’s a 3 day cruise and we only live 2 hours from the port. I was paying for the port parking. I was driving. I was paying for the gas. I paid for the lodging for the night before for all of us so we didn’t have to rush to the port the next morning. (Still am.) I paid for my own bachelorette ticket, not that I EVER would’ve expected them to pay for mine, and yes, they all asked to when we booked this a year ago, before the boyfriend was even a thought, but I said no. I paid my own way. Im not asking for a gold star either- just some important info that people have asked in other subs. 🙂 figured id answer those questions already.

EETA: I didn’t force them on a cruise. I would’ve been just as happy doing something at home. (Now ex) maid of honor wanted to do my bridal shower at a venue. I BEGGED for it to just be at home. Anyone’s home. She didn’t allow my sister (also a bridesmaid) to help whatsoever. When my sister finally stepped in and told her she was taking over, she said she hadn’t even gotten a guest list together- guests weren’t even invited until about 3 weeks out. We ended up having it at my sisters house. It was wonderful. Also, I was going to post our texts, but apparently I can’t add photos? So, booo.

A close friend of mine from high school and college (though we drifted apart mid-college) got married right after we graduated. She registered at Bloomingdale’s and everything on her registry was high-end and pricy. She was my first friend to get married (we were both 22) and I didn’t know what an appropriate amount to spend was and I thought I had to buy from her registry and do all the right things…I ended up spending A LOT on her bridal shower gift and wedding gift. Her MOH also planned a spa thing for her bachelorette and I went and chipped in her for her services.

Anyway, a little while after her wedding, another friend and I invited her to our joint birthday dinner at a restaurant with a $30 prix fixe menu. You could also order a la carte if you wanted. She called me and said she and her husband would ordinarily love to come but they were really put off by the price of the dinner. I felt like she was shaming me when she’s the one who had an extravagant registry at a high end store? My circle registers at like Bed, Bath & Beyond, Crate & Barrel, Target, etc.

How should I have responded?

I am the MOH to what I used to think was my best friend. But over the last six months, the bride has become increasingly more and more self-centred and closed off to me. At any event- Hens Night, Kitchen Tea, Engagement- she refuses to talk to me. Its alwaysa brief hello and then a goodbye. I am lucky if I get a 15-second conversation, Even non bridal events- as I am related to her, she doesn't talk to me or ask how I am going. What hurts is that I've done so much. I've gotten to the engagement party the night before and the day of hours before to help prep, made food, bought decorations, and constantly come beforehand hours before to help. But it barely gets acknowledged. All while she sits back and does nothing. I know i wont be getting any help with my own wedding. She ghosts my texts, too and only calls or reaches out when she wants something. Every time in the last two months I tried to catch up to help her with wedding prep- she kept postponing, cutting short the time, coming late, or not responding to the texts. And the one time I did, she made me do work for her teaching job and glue kids's work. I am just sick of it. I have to give a speech, and I feel like all the things I am saying, about her are lies. I hate giving speeches too- I get so nervous-

I get it that that wedings are super stressful and hectic, and there is not a lot of room to be thinking about other things/people, I would know too, as I am also planning my own upcoming wedding. But I feel like I've poured out everything- and am not even getting treated like a decent human being. Advice???

Just watching some re runs from the show back in the early 00's.

Did anyone know these people?

Are they as god awful in real life as they were in the show?

And are any of them still married, cause holy hell these women are awful.

I 30f was invited to a newish friends wedding the invitation I received was a website link that said 3pm no other details, I park at 3pm get to the door at 3:01pm & there is somebody holding it shut from inside and mouthed “no. the ceremony is starting”, I was beyond shocked and embarrassed. It was all glass so I could look in and everyone could see me, the groom was just about to walk down stairs in to ceremony isle. (the entrance was in the back right hand side so taking a seat wouldnt have have involved walking infront of people or through the isle) I had to stand there ( mind you it was about 40degress) until the vows then the woman allowed me to stand inside by the door next to her. A couple days later while talking to the bride I asked her if she had paper invites that were sent before we met she said yes and showed me a picture but it also said the same time as the website so I just jokingly said she had a very prompt family because they didn’t let me in for being 1 minute late she said said “No, aw🩷 sorry”

idk iata for feeling some type of way about it. I had a formal wedding and I didn’t so this. I was helping this friend plan this wedding for months but I had nothing to do with the timeline. Also it wasn’t a time constraint thing because the wedding ended up ending 2-3 hours early.